Winter Fly

Have you ever come across a fly in the middle of January? I did today, and I know I have had this thought before but I also thought, well now I have somewhere to put this thought...in my blog!
Anyway, a fly in the winter looks the same as a fly in the summer...they act the same and land in pretty much the same places as they do in the summer. But there is one significant difference between the January fly and his July cousin. Winter flies are much much slower to react to movement. It is far easier to kill a fly in the winter based soley on its much slover movements.I am not sure of the exact science science behind this, though I could hypothesize, but that is really not what this is about. My thought was this. I am a winter fly. I am slow to react. I am Lazy...and I feel like I am somehow out of place, or be better off in another time or place...I don't really mean physically, ( alothough I do feel slower and dumber in the winter) but my being...my character, my insides. And not just in winter, but always. I am slow to react to things that should spur me to action quickly, I feel lost at times and unsure of how to act. I could I suppose, just follow the crowd, and at times if I did this I would likely be further ahead, but instead, I sit atop my moral high horse and simply refuse to move...regardsless of the fact there is a giant hand coming towards me, threatening to squash my very existance. ( I know this sounds wierd but hang in there) This is of course not a literal hand, but rather a hand of indifference, apathy and neglect threatening to render me motionless and unable to move ever again . I know, that if I can not soon make a change in position ( position of my heart and mind) that I will be forever incapacitated and stuck in this listless ditch that I have created for myself to hide in! I must change, I must adapt, I must, so that I can move forward in life, so I can truly experience and live life...fully, the way it was intended. Not happy and ignorant, full of all the things life has to offer...not busy, firefighting pulling my hair out, stressed, but full the way God meant it to be. I don't want to be a winter fly anymore! If I can make it until spring ( a new beginning in my life) I know I will be ok...until then, I will keep buzzing around...