Locals Only !

Anyone who attended the Canada Day celebrations at columbia lake yesterday will have had the misfortune of being audibly assaulted by something called "the guys" ( I actually looked them up online...talk about false advertising) I knew we were in for a treat when I saw the drummer setting up his kit( you can tell how a band is gonna be by how the drums look...just so ya know) He was wearing black leather gloves and a chest open white see through tuxedo shirt...I said to my friend Curtis...this is gonna suck! He said maybe we should move back(we were close to the stage)but I declined as I felt that this was something I was going to need to see to believe. What I saw was nothing short of astounding...What I saw was "mindbottling"(catch the refernece) What I saw was a band who have gone to great lengths to plan a rock and roll show...it had all the the right components...it had a theme ( which was german military of some kind) it had gimics, sunglasses, a snowball(all of the musicians traded instruments and positions) a drum solo...it was well thought and planned out...it was a spectacle...and there was only one issue!

*********DISCLAIMER- I do not know these people personally and do not wish to pass judgement on them as human beings ...simply as performers...PAID musicians***************

THEY HAD NO MUSICAL TALENT WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sat in disbelief as I listened to music that could have been better perfromed by chimpanzees with instuments. It was Brutal. The drummer did a drum solo that was not nearly as good as the one that my son did ( he is two) and at times I really thought that this whole thing was a spoof that just wasn't funny...but I was wrong... It was for real and it was right there in front of me. I thought...wow...this is the worst thing I have ever seen or heard EVER...but then it happened...IT GOT WORSE! A wierd Germanish?? rock band started to play (very badly of course) "Billy Jean" by Michael Jackson! No Joke, I stood up and screamed NOOO! Sarah of course yelled at me for this because she said people probably thought that I was booing the song...in hindsight I realized she was right so I made it clear to those around me that I was booing the band...not the song! ( No more hating on MJ...I love his music forever) I was actually offended that they would try and play this song, thankfully though, they only just played the intro riff over and over for a minute and did not attempt to sing it! ( this proves that they are not in fact stupid...they knew better) So I was now offended and assaulted and I thought well, that is as bad as it gets...I was wrong again...As if they did not suck bad enough at their own instruments...they felt the need to show us how much they sucked at playing each others instruments. They switched it up...The drummer became the lead singer/keyboard player...I am laughing right now because I still can't believe I saw all of this...He honestly can not play piano...he literally just banged on the keyboard at one point, and most of the rest of the time he just held down 1 note and played with the pitch bender...it was amazing! Curtis said to me ...I bet they will do some stupid bow at the end...I said...no way, they can't be that arrogant...No one is cheering. much lees clapping along...they won't do tha...they did...they bowed! to the three people brave enough to applaud this debacle...they bowed!!! Anyway, I say all of that to say...Could we not find anyone better to celebrate our country??? I hate the tragically hip a lot but I would rather have IPOD headphone playing only Tragiacally hip songs Stapled to my ears than ever to experience something like that again!!
SO, sorry that wasn't humorous...but this was no laughing matter!!
I will try and write something more upbeat later!!
Have a good day!!